Teasers, trailers, release dates… they promised us the world! But when the time came, they left us on “read.” Some are sitting in post-production purgatory, others tangled up in studio drama, and a few… well, who even knows? All we know is we’re the ones left without the cinematic experiences we were counting on.

You know that feeling when you’re waiting for a package you ordered online? You’ve tracked it every day, convinced it’ll arrive any minute, only for it to sit in “arriving” like it’s on a never-ending holiday? And finally, you get a delivery notification, rush to check your doorstep, and… nothing?

That’s what 2024 feels like for film lovers. Just you, standing there, confused and a little heartbroken.

So, let’s do what we do best: lament. Here’s a roundup of Nollywood movies and series we were supposed to have this year but somehow, still don’t.

To Kill a Monkey

Kemi Adetiba had us excited this year. She promised three big projects: To Kill A Monkey, Welcome to the Fourth, and King of Boys 3. When she made that Instagram announcement with “I told y’all I was hungry. RUN IT!!!” in bold caps, we believed her. Why wouldn’t we? This is the genius who gave us King of Boys and its iconic sequel. But instead of a buffet of new releases, we’ve been left holding our plates, waiting for the chef to show up.

Take To Kill A Monkey, for instance. Filming wrapped in October 2023. Netflix promised us a 2024 release. They even called it a mini-series, so we knew we’d get to savour it in delicious chunks. With a cast featuring Nollywood royalty like Chidi Mokeme, Stella Damasus, and Damilola Adegbite, it was supposed to blow our minds. But here we are in December, scrolling through Netflix, and all we see are “suggested” titles we didn’t ask for.

And let’s not forget Welcome to the Fourth. This was another project she teased alongside To Kill A Monkey. Sure, we didn’t get much detail about it, but the name alone had us intrigued. Was it a sci-fi? A mystery? We’ll never know, because like To Kill A Monkey, it’s nowhere to be found.

So, what happened? Are these films caught up in production drama? Did they get lost in Netflix’s “Coming Soon” section? We don’t know. What we do know is that 2024 has been a year of unfulfilled promises, and Kemi, we’re begging – just give us something!

I Do Not Come to You By Chance

This one hurts because we almost had it! The film adaptation of Adaobi Tricia Nwaubani’s award-winning 2009 novel, I Do Not Come to You By Chance, has been making waves since its announcement. Directed by Ishaya Bako, the movie premiered at the Africa International Film Festival (AFRIFF) in November 2023, giving lucky attendees a glimpse of what the rest of us are missing.

Starring Paul Nnadiekwe in his big-screen debut alongside Blossom Chukwujekwu, Jennifer Eliogu, Sambasa Nzeribe, and Beverly Osu, the film tells the story of a young Nigerian graduate faced with a moral dilemma: should he join his dubious uncle’s fraudulent email scam to support his struggling family?

Shot in both English and Igbo, with Genevieve Nnaji serving as executive producer, this adaptation seemed primed to wow us with its rich portrayal of complex characters, razor-sharp humour, and a deeply human exploration of how societal pressures can push good people to morally grey decisions.

So, what happened? The film was set to hit Nigerian cinemas last year, but instead, we’ve been left refreshing Instagram posts and waiting for updates. It did have its European premiere at the International Film Festival Rotterdam (IFFR) in early 2024, but back home? Silence.

We’re ready, tickets in hand, but the release date remains a mystery. Please, someone tell us this isn’t just a festival film. We ‘normies’ deserve to see this masterpiece too!

Finding Messiah

Oscar Heman-Ackah came out swinging with his debut feature film, Finding Messiah. A political music drama set in the fictional Republic of Zambay, complete with its own language, culture, and even a mini community built from scratch! This film promised to be a feast for the senses. And with a star-studded cast featuring Pete Edochie, Ngozi Ezeonu, Taiwo Ajayi-Lycett, Alex Usifo, Ejike Asiegbu, and the legendary Daddy Showkey, how could we not get excited?

Back in March 2024, Oscar shared a teaser clip on Instagram, giving us a taste of the film’s soundtrack, and it was nothing short of magical. But one song? Just one? That’s all we got before everything went silent. No trailer, no updates, just vibes and unanswered prayers. The production team reportedly went all out, building an entire Zambay-inspired world to make this vision believable. So where is it now? Did Zambay swallow the footage?

The film had everything going for it; a unique concept, a powerhouse cast, and the promise of an immersive world. But as we reach the end of 2024, we’re still waiting. Oscar dared to arouse us, and leave us hanging! No Oscar, we’re not trying to rush your masterpiece, but a little more than a teaser wouldn’t hurt. Give us Finding Messiah, or at least give us hope that the Messiah is closer than we think.

Sugar Rush 2

The excitement surrounding Sugar Rush 2 felt like a promise that would finally be fulfilled. Filming kicked off in October 2022, with the original cast – Adesua Etomi-Wellington, Bisola Aiyeola, and Bimbo Ademoye – back in action, and new director Khris Burton at the helm. The behind-the-scenes clips had us buzzing with anticipation, and by November 2022, filming had officially wrapped. We were all set for another chaotic adventure with the sugar sisters, right? Wrong.

Here we are in 2024, and the sequel is still nowhere to be seen. The buzz has gone cold, with no official word on its release. We’ve been hanging on for over two years, and yet, the sequel is still nowhere to be found. Why the delay? What’s going on behind the curtain? Are the sugar sisters lost in post-production limbo? Whatever the reason, the only thing we know for sure is that Sugar Rush 2 is nowhere in sight, and we’re running out of patience. Please give us something, fast!

Tarella

It’s been years since we first heard about Tarella, and we’re still waiting for our turn to see this “African Cinderella” come to life. Co-directed by Lolo Eremie and Kayode Kasum, this film reimagines the classic fairytale in the mythical West African kingdom of Akkaya. It’s an afro-fantasy full of lush costumes, dazzling cinematography, and a storyline inspired by Rhodopis, the Egyptian girl who inspired the original Cinderella legend. Eremie promised a fresh narrative for today’s generation, and from the trailer released way back in 2022, Tarella seemed ready to deliver.

The film boasts a star-studded cast, including Okawa Shaznay as Tarella and Timini Egbuson as Prince Nosa. Add in heavyweights like Richard Mofe-Damijo, Elvina Ibru, and Gideon Okeke, and you’ve got a line-up that could draw crowds. Yet, despite wrapping production in 2021 and making rounds at film festivals like AFRIFF 2023 and TINFF 2024, Tarella remains out of reach for the masses.

What’s the hold-up? It’s hard to say, especially since updates have been scarce. But the film’s nomination for Best Nollywood Film at TINFF 2024 only adds to the intrigue. We’ve been ready for Tarella since the trailer dropped, but three years later, we’re still left wondering: when will this magical tale finally get its “happily ever after”?

This is Lagos

This is Lagos was supposed to be the love letter Lagosians never knew they needed. Kenneth Gyang, whose work (Oloture, Confusion Na Wa) always leaves a mark, crafted this film as a bold ode to the city.  But, you know that one friend who always says, “I’ll be there in five minutes,” but somehow never shows up? That’s exactly how Kenneth Gyang’s This is Lagos is making us feel. First, he told us it was coming in December 2023. Then he said, “Oops, not yet.” And now? We’re here, popcorn in hand, with the once-melting butter now solidifying.

The film follows Stevo (Gabriel Afolayan), a young rapper with a criminal past and big dreams, as he navigates the chaos of Lagos. Throw in an ensemble cast featuring Rahama Sadau, Kate Henshaw, Jesse Jagz (yes, the Jesse Jagz), and Ikechukwu Onunaku, and it sounded like an unmissable treat.

The visuals? Designed for the big screen, with full-frame anamorphic lenses and every intention of giving us the cinematic Lagos experience. The story? A mix of grit, humour, and music; just like the city it’s named after. But instead of gracing our screens, it’s been bouncing around film festivals like AFRIFF and PAFF. And don’t even get us started on the soundtrack. Jesse Jagz’s Fire and Water single teased us just enough to leave us hanging. Gyang apologized for the delays and promised updates, but here we are, still waiting.

So, Kenneth, we’re begging. Lagos is ready. We’re ready. This film was meant for the masses, and it’s time to let it shine. Please, don’t make us wait another minute!

The Artifact

And now, a filmmaker who decided to look beyond Lagos! In his ambitious project The Artifact, Tolu Lord Tanner promises to take us on a journey across Nigeria, exploring its beauty and diversity like never before. From Lagos to Ilesa, Benin to Onitsha, and even Keffi, the film promises a cinematic road trip through breathtaking landscapes and vibrant cultures. Lord Tanner’s goal? To show audiences not just the sights but the experience of Nigeria – the good, the bad, and the “brakes-on-the-coaster-bus-just-gave-out” moments.

The film follows four friends on a race to recover precious stones hidden in an ancient artifact, all while being pursued by dangerous forces. With stars like Adeoluwa Akintoba, Sharon Rotimi, Miracle Inyanda, and Kunle Remi, The Artifact boasts a cast ready to deliver adventure and drama in equal measure.

The production sounds like a movie in itself. Lord Tanner shared updates about 12-hour road trips, convoy breakdowns, and dancing crew members scarfing down Egusi and Eba in Keffi. He even admitted to losing 8kg during filming – and judging by the chaos of their road adventures, we believe him!

After premiering at AFRIFF 2024, The Artifact is supposed to hit screens soon, but no release date has been confirmed. And while we’re eager to see Nigeria showcased in all its glory, we’re starting to feel like those friends who planned an adventure only to get left behind. Lord Tanner, you’ve got us hyped, now deliver the goods.

Wire Wire

Bolanle Austen-Peters gave us a taste, teased us with a star-studded cast, and then disappeared into radio silence. Wire Wire is poised to feature Shaffy Bello, Blossom Chukwujekwu, Bisola Aiyeola, Erica Nlewedim, Lasisi Elenu, and even Tacha, all were on board for this mystery project. Principal photography started in 2023, and we got a sneak peek with behind-the-scenes footage that had us buzzing with excitement. But since then? Nothing. Not a single detail about the plot or its release date.

Knowing Austen-Peters, who gave us Bling Lagosians and Collision Course, Wire Wire is probably something special. But the long silence is testing our patience. If 2025 doesn’t deliver this film, we might need to start sending strongly worded letters.

And there you have it – a year of teasers, trailers, and dashed hopes. While the wait has been nothing short of painful, we choose to remain hopeful that 2025 will finally bring these films to our screens. After all, good things come to those who wait… right?